Timeless responses from moms

You’re expecting a baby and you want to know, “what do I need to invest my time and resources into to prepare for this baby?”

Well, buckle up buttercup, I’ve got the list straight from moms themselves. Get ready to save this, this isn’t some fluff article. I’m giving you the meaty stuff.

EDUCATION & SUPPORT

Let’s face it, pregnancy and motherhood isn’t all sunshine and rainbows like we’re taught to expect.
The first thing on our list is managing expectations by learning about birth and babies.

By reading this blog post, you’re researching already. A lot of parents report that they wished they had taken at least one childbirth class because they felt blindsided by the birthing process.

Increasing your understanding of the birthing process, knowing your preferences and learning to advocate for your own needs during birth can make the difference between a positive experience and a negative one. I also recommend taking newborn care classes, transitioning into parenting classes, and hypnobirthing classes for those interested (it isn’t what you think!)

Similarly, hiring the right support is equally important. Who you choose for birth support will determine where you birth, which determines what policies you’re subjected to, what care you’ll receive, what procedures and medicine types are available and ultimately your ability to cope through your experience and heal postpartum. Many mothers especially wished they had learned about doulas and midwives as options. Start with the type of experience you want, and go from there.

In the birth world, we have a saying: “if you don’t know your options, you don’t have any.”

I find this true throughout every aspect of life. Learn about what’s available to you, including homebirth, placenta care, babywearing, diapering options, feeding options, etc. and remember that can look like for different people.

BREASTFEEDING KEEPSAKES

Nursing journeys are often fought for and hard-earned. When they are over, many moms choose to memorialize their journey by getting breastmilk jewelry. Special resin composites turn the breast milk into a stone for the jewelry, allowing moms to keep a part of that special time with them forever.

Moms reported they wished they had done this before the milk was gone or dried up.

SET UP CHILDCARE EARLY

A lot of places fill up quickly so if you’re planning to use a facility, school, or specific program, yesterday is the time to get enrolled.

A couple of alternative options are nannies and mother’s helpers. These types of caregivers range in investment based on the experience, education, and philosophies they follow. Many are affordable and many are high-end professionals, it’s important to identify what your preferences are so you can find the best one for your family.

ESTABLISH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

A lot of parents experienced boundaries being crossed in the birth and postpartum period, making an already stressful time lean towards damaging. Ouch.

So what are boundaries and why do parents need them? Well, for starters, a boundary is a rule you implement where if X happens, you’ll respond with Y. For example: If my mother comes over unannounced and we’re not ready for a visit, we’ll deny entry and ask her to come another time.

Why do you need it? Because if you don’t set up expectations from others on what is and isn’t okay to you, you’ll be susceptible to any and all kinds of behaviors from any person you know or meet.

Boundaries are goooooooood, friend, trust me.

NEWBORN FEEDING & CARE

Parents should look into the options for feeding their baby. If you’re familiar with the topic, you may feel like you have the information you need. However, it’s common to experience different things with different kids. Knowing your options means you’re empowered to seek out what you really need if it’s different than you expected.

Moms regretted not taking a breastfeeding class, and having a bottle-feeding educational resource, not knowing about GERD or Milk-Soy-Protein Intolerance, symptoms of lip/tongue/buccal ties and so forth because it greatly impacted their baby’s feeding journey, their sleep, their ability to bond with baby and their relationship with their partner.

NEWBORN GEAR

Many moms express they felt pressure to buy all the baby items, lamenting later how much they wasted on things they didn’t use. The issue is, many would say one item was of high value in their newborn journey, while others say they never touched it. It’s like saying “Your a chef in a high-end restaurant. Here’s a fully-stocked kitchen and pantry, but you don’t know what you’re making until the client orders.”

Some of these include the haakaa, the windii, nosefrida, silver cups, the Snoo, and so much more.

Only you can determine if these are of use to you. Some high-ticket items like the Snoo have facebook groups dedicated to reselling. You can always choose to have these things on-hand and then sell or regift later, but don’t feel bad. Just like in the kitchen analogy, you wouldn’t know what you’re cooking until the orders are made. Every baby is different, every journey is different. Maybe you’ll get to use those things later with future children.

So what should you get? Invest in what makes things easier for you and your family. If it works and solves your problem well, go for it.

Safe eating, sleeping, and a comfortable journey for all involved is well worth the investment.

THE BIGGEST REGRET

If you’ve ever been in a mom group online, you’ll know parents ask the question what they should prepare for during pregnancy. Moms usually respond with what they regret not doing. Time and again, there is always the same overwhelmingly repeated response. Want to know what it is?

They wish they had invested in getting birth, maternity and/or newborn photography.

Photos are the one thing you can’t go back and buy for yourself because time travel just doesn’t exist. I had this exact experience myself. I couldn’t afford a good professional when I was having babies, and I wish the ones I could afford had clearer communication and expectations so I could’ve had a better experience.

During birth and postpartum, your hormones fluctuate so much causing you to forget small details. This can leave gaps in the storyline for a lot of moms, which they often feel shame for forgetting.

Ideally, newborn photographers should be contacted by your 6th month, and maternity photographers should be secured by your 5th month (20 weeks). Birth photographers can book up many months in advance. I recommend hiring as soon as you know you want one, and being very particular about finding someone with the style, personality, and energetic vibe you’ll want for your birth. Don’t be afraid to change your mind should you feel like you’re not a good match after hire. Communicate truthfully with your doula and go hire someone you really connect with and trust. Yes, it’s that important. Depending on your contract and how close you are to the service date or birth, you may or may not be able to expect a refund, which is why its important to do your best to hire right the first time, and listen to your instincts as soon as you get the feeling it may not be a good fit.

What to expect for investment is also a wide-range from as little as $200 to over $5000 and up. The main differences are from the level of a service you want, the quality of work, the type of experience you get, the experience the photographer has, as well as the products you choose to display the finished artwork. Remember, while budget is important, so is getting what you want at the only time you can truly get it. What you may value may not be what others do. Find what is of value to you and then hire the photographer that offers that.

I wish you a beautiful birth and smooth postpartum.

xoxo,

Lana